A fitting way to start a conversation about sex is with a debut. After all, a debut marks a beginning – a premiere event – and that’s what I want to do here. Have some healthy conversations about sex and sexuality.
So what is a sexual debut? Losing your virginity doesn’t have to be a thing. Nor does deflowering or any other metaphor that denotes some sort of paradise lost. Your sexual self is not an accident: it is your amazing, mysterious, and wonderful self-expression.
With a sexual debut, you determine how you enter the sexual scene. Maybe it’s with a first kiss. Maybe it’s in claiming bodily autonomy. Maybe it’s nobody’s business.
Why bother changing the language? For one thing, the ‘losing of virginity’ is such a weird concept. Like, where did it go? I always imagine it wedged behind some couch, gathering dust along with candy bar wrappers and pocket change. Also, what precisely is it that gets lost?
I would rather contemplate sexual self-determination than loss. And I wonder if we emphasize joy how that might alter our cultural conversation about sex? Change begins with conversation, and this is a beginning of sorts, this debut.
I’ve always wanted to talk about these things; as a counsellor I came to suspect that others did too. Please join me. Send me topics that you want to discuss, and let’s create a cultural conversation about sex that is fun, juicy, respectful, interesting. Let’s see how that moves the needle towards sexual expression that is consciously joyful. Next time: Sex Positivity.